Life or just existence

It may well be that the book turned out to be a bit hearty, what is described there, but everything happened as it is stated there. Sure, there are a lot of memoirs and these are perhaps the ones where you could say it was a normal life, but this is also the view of how I experienced my existence. But that doesn't mean that I blame anyone in my environment or the like, but all of this is based on my own decisions. At the time, I couldn't judge whether they were right or wrong, but only afterwards. 95% of the time I made up my mind to do it. Whether or not I would have been told something is a different question. But what will certainly be with me until the end of my life, in whatever form, is that a person thinks of another with character assassination in order to perhaps give his career an impetus. If at that time facts and not estimates had been passed on as facts from finance to the judiciary, my life would probably have taken a different course. Even if it was found from this cause that I was guilty of some legal violations, I am convinced and that until the end of my life that I am innocent. I decided to protect my son with my approach. You may think what you want now, I have decided on the right path for myself, otherwise my son might no longer be alive today. I can't necessarily answer whether I'm happy with my current life or not, because I think that's a very personal point of view. I am happy. Why? On the one hand, my existence is now going quietly in contrast to what I was already able to experience, on the other hand I am very happy that I was able to get rid of my addiction that had accompanied me for over 3 decades. I don't know how that happened in 2014. Was it a higher power or was it that I was closer to suicide than I wanted to admit to myself. Anyway, I won't question it. Perhaps the whole thing that I am giving is an experience that could be of use to one or the other. But that doesn't mean that I condemn what I would have experienced, no, on the contrary. In the meanwhile, six decades of life there have certainly been wonderful moments and the birth of my son comes to mind among others.

You can see it how you want: Are these memoirs or is it just a sequence of events in my life. I would like to say that at the time I had experienced this, I believed that this was correct. I hardly had any advice from relatives or friends as to whether that was the right thing to do or not. But it was always a question of whether I would have taken this into account. Of course, in the course of the following pages there are always places where I am on the verge of legality. But since these were sometimes ago and I personally stand by what I did or didn't do then, I don't see any problems if these consequences arise. Whether this is a fulfilled or happy life is not up to me, but to the reader, but I will draw a conclusion in the end.